Written on Wednesday, 12th August, 2020
Parental pressure is a behaviour exhibited by parents. It is discerned by their children as demonstrating high, unlikely or possibly, unattainable expectations. That is, it’s parental pressure when your parents or guardian expect too much from you and they keep talking about it.
It’s parental pressure when they expect you to succeed academically; join that music class and do well; be active in sports or just expect you to function so well in a career or thing they make you do without considering your opinion or interest. And even if your opinion or interest is considered, they still make you do what they initially wanted you to do because they feel you don’t know what’s good for you. It’s okay if they want you to succeed, I mean it’s good. But it’s pressure when you’ve got interest in another thing but they still want you to succeed without considering your interest. This behaviour from parents is caused by so many factors. We’ll be considering just a few factors.
Parent Peer Pressure is common. This happens when your parents’ friends’ children, or your peers are doing well in a thing or the other. Moreover, perhaps, your parents’ friends can’t just keep quiet about it. They keep slapping it on your parents’ faces. Or, your parents don’t just understand why you aren’t doing well. Like, do their peers’ or friends’ children have two heads? Hence, they just want you to succeed without considering your interests or anything. If their peer’s daughter can excel in sports, who are you not to, especially if you are a boy? Why are you not succeeding in that music class as well, when Mrs. Johnson’s son plays the piano so well?
Another factor is over-investment in a child. I mean, your parents strived so hard to ensure that you go to the best schools throughout your life or they already invested so much in you and you aren’t even appreciating it by doing so well in school, or studying medicine, law, engineering, or accounting but you just want to settle for a non-professional course? Do you have two heads? Here, parents might see you as a retirement plan, hence, they want you to study that course that seems rich to them so that you won’t forget them when they are aged or they just believe studying that course is worth their investment. Like after sending you to British Comprehensive school, you still want to study Yoruba?
Gender roles are another factor that influences parental pressure. For example, as a female, showing interest in barbing seems somewhat unacceptable because you’re female. You are expected to learn hairdressing. Moreover, learning that might make them feel more insecure. What if those male barbers are all over you and the likes?
Overprotection, hyper parenting, and the media are also some of the reasons why parents put pressure on their children. Ironically, parents see what other parents are doing to their children but not what they are doing to their children. To them, it’s just love, care, and ensuring that you succeed.
Yesterday, in my letter, I proposed communication as one of the ways to handle parental pressure – that is, communicating your ideas and interests to them and showing them results.
While communicating, know that you can’t please them. Pleasing your parents just because you are pressured to do what you don’t like is not right. At the end of the day, you’d live a life of regrets or an unhappy one. I’m an example of parental pressure, and honestly, I scaled through. Now, my parents are in support of what I do. Even my cousins also endorse me. However, these people, a few years ago didn’t endorse me in any way. They didn’t support what I do. They had plans for me. They wanted me to be someone I was not and didn’t imagine myself being. Of course, they wanted ‘the best’ for me. Nonetheless, I scaled through by communicating my interests and showing them results. Please, it wasn’t that easy.
Be focused on your goals, strengths, interests, and always push through. Being pressured is a thing you can’t escape as a young adult, but knowing how to handle it is best for you. Thanks for following. Stay safe.